YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
