In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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