we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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