I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize