Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
