so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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