I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
