Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
