I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize