Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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