We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bring money and cleavage
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
