Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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