the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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