i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
