That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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