omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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