Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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