Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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