Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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