I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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