I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
