two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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