Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
