Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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