Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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