marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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