Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The air was thick with penises
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
