They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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