small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
