I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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