exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
