I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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