Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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