i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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