saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
