apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
