would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize