she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
