So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?