Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.