I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...