I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao