i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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