I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
