I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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