I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
