Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
