Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
