I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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