When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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