we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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