wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
