You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
