You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
