I am in a vortex of obligation.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
