I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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