Are we in a gay sports bar?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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