you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
