thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
