Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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