he wants to bone in the snuggie
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
