i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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