I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize