there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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