That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
