Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
