so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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