Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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