So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
