hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
