I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
